Sunday, January 16, 2011

my heart will sing

i had one of those special days. i was thinking of using the word 'incredible' but...then thought against it, but now i'm rethinking that thought. it's true, it was one of those slightly incredible days.

what i mean by slightly is that everything was just so unexpected and just not in my control. yet things fell into places that i really hadn't imagined and here i am once again, just in awe of my Saviour.

i auditioned for kollaboration toronto today and just those two hours of my day and time (i suppose you can bump it up to three if you count travel time) amazed me. before going, i didn't know what to expect -- were there a lot of people signed up? there were only two audition days so many people could they fit? who were the judges...was it informal, formal...did i look okay? hold up, they take your photo?! so my mind sort of runs all over the place, please learn to bear with me. i did get to meet these two high school girls who just decided to do this for the same reason i was doing it: for fun. i know that sounds like i didn't take it seriously enough, but i really wasn't expecting much out of it. there sat this opportunity for me to express myself, and...i decided to do it.

now, i was very much aware that i could possibly get into the talent showcase in march, and then i could possibly win the grand prize. but i assure you, i didn't do this to win. so when i got there and sat with all the other (pardon the slight race discrimination in this, but unfortunately, it is very true) asians, i was blown away. heavily put. i still didn't know what to expect.

then we had to take our photos (for a reason of which i am still now aware). it was early enough in the morning, with the snow storm and such, that things were still running on a first-come, first serve basis. i even got to jam a little bit with a girl's guitar! a part of me secretly wants to be able to really...just play. with an acoustic guitar, i mean. if i had my way (which i don't), i'd learn all the instruments. who knows....fifty years down the road.

when it did come around to my turn, the girl walking me to the room asked, "are you nervous?" and all i could do was give a small laugh. in my head, i thought of saying, 'kind of!' but my honest answer came out first, "not really! just...going to do what i do." wow. that sounds a little bit conceited...i guess i can explain why i said that in another post -- let's just say that i was fortunately raised up competing in front of people and under the sometimes scrutinizing eyes of a panel of judges.

ah, the joys of being a classical pianist.

the grand piano was delightfully tuned and was very much responsive to my touch, as was the microphone to my voice once they got the levels right). so once i did go through with my audition piece -- i ended up sticking with Sara Bareilles' Gravity -- they asked me to stand and step forward a few steps to fit into the video frame. they were filming everything...for some reason! like i said, or maybe i haven't said it before, i really don't know much about this whole thing, just what i needed to do. a few of them asked me some questions about myself and what music was to me and where i saw it going, then near the end, i was asked to go do some additional filming. for promotion purposes. why not!

it was very similar to what i did with Rad-Art (ah...another thing to write about), only i have to admit i was more comfortable in this setting because i got to speak in English. i really would be disappointed if i lost my French. the woman that i met and who was videotaping the interview ended up talking to me about possible shows and...this is where the real blowing away happened. this whole world of music just opened up and swelled.

it's not to say that i never thought about doing music professionally. YouTube tends to inspire many young people these days about making videos and getting their art out there. i just never got around to doing it. ...yet. i don't even have the equipment! or the voice! (the latter may be rebutted by some people...but i am planning to take vocal lessons) i don't have a band or original songs up my sleeve! needless to say, i was a little bit overwhelmed but more than that, i was in awe. i'm going to have to say this again: i wasn't expecting much out of all of this. yet small things did come out of it.

i think i'll stop here for tonight. it feels really good to be writing again though. even if there isn't anybody reading, here's a little bit of me. posted on the web.

hallelujah, we're redeemed and made free
by the blood of the lamb, we have won! 

hallelujah, we will sing victory 
Jesus conquered the grave, God be praised! 

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